As an M. Sc. psychologist and coach, my job is not to have all the answers. Quite the opposite. My job is to ask effective questions.
This time, I got inspired.
Steven Bartlett emails 100 CEOs every month with one question voted on by his community and shares their best answers. Steven is the founder of FlightStory and host of The Diary of a CEO. You might have seen him as an investor on the British TV show Dragons’ Den, the UK equivalent of Shark Tank or Höhle der Löwen.
No, I’m not a CEO.
But since 2013, I’ve been working with individuals, teams, and organizations through my coaching business – and I’ve noticed a few patterns I’d like to reflect on. As a writing challenge.
My writing is never a final answer. It evolves, just like the people and organizations I work with.
So welcome to 100 CEOs, 1 Coach!
Questions I’ve reflected on so far:
- How do you keep your romantic relationships healthy and connected when work demands take over?
- What’s the biggest sign that a company’s culture isn’t what leadership thinks it is?
- Are remote-first companies setting up young employees to fail?
- 9-5 jobs vs. entrepreneurship: Which one is the BIGGEST risk?
- What are the biggest mistakes that start-up entrepreneurs ALWAYS make?
You’ll find my most recent reflections right at the top!
With presence, self-awareness, and the “right” partner.
Here’s what I shared in my TEDx Talk back in 2016: [During a coaching session,] the person with me will become the most important human being on earth. For that moment.”
That’s presence. And it’s still true today.
For a long time, I gave my presence and focus not just to my coaching conversations, but to building my coaching business. A business needs that, especially when it’s getting started. I only realigned this later, when I met my wonderful partner.
Today, so much of my clarity, calmness, and creativity comes from our connection. It flows directly into my work as a coach, fueling the presence and energy I bring to every session.
Beyond presence: self-awareness.
Asking others “How do you keep your relationships healthy and connected?” is… good. But go deeper: How does this healthy and connected relationship look like for you – day to day, week to week? How does it feel? How do you feel?
This might mean writing things down.
Once you’ve explored your version, check in with you partner: how does it look for them? Never stop asking this question. You can’t design your relationship on a whiteboard – all on your own.
Beyond presence and self-awareness: the “right” partner.
Your most important decision in life might not be what business you lead – but who you choose to share your life with. Relationships thrive when both partners are committed to personal growth and co-creating connection, rather than following one-size-fits-all advice.
— The original answers to this question are available here.
Can we agree on a definition for culture? It represents the organization, expressing how its members interact and work together.
Imagine an orchestra. Let’s go big, with a full-size symphony orchestra with 100+ musicians. Picture how they interact and coordinate.
Now, I remove one cellist and replace it with another. Still sounds good? Then I remove a clarinetist and replace it with another. Still good? Now I keep going – one musician after the other – until every single person has been replaced.
Is it still the same orchestra? The structure hasn’t changed. But the people have. And still… the members interact and work together in the same way. That’s culture. Culture is what stays.
In my Integral Improvisational Coaching Approach, we call it: go with your groove. And we all know an orchestra’s groove is different from a late-night jam session, right? It’s difficult to put into words but you can feel it.
So how do you build culture? Three easy steps:
- Establishing collective principles. A shared mindset, philosophy, and language for how we communicate and collaborate. These principles guide our thinking, attitude, and actions.
- Cultivating inner resources. In my experience, almost no organization does this: cultivating psycho-social-collective qualities like creativity, serenity, freedom, and community sense. They’re a culture boost!
- Building team competencies. Yes – team competencies. The ability to act together to handle conflicts, make decisions, and share leadership.
Alright, it’s not exactly easy.
It takes continuous learning, reflection, and practice – integrated into real work and supported by team development and individual coaching.
But wait – you wanted to know the biggest sign that your company’s culture isn’t what you think it is? If you can’t leave your business for a few weeks without everything falling apart.
— The original answers to this question are available here.
What if I said: “Many young professionals enter the workforce without ever having practiced self-leadership – managing focus, motivation, boundaries, and emotions.” Would you agree?
Now, read that again. This time, swap young with experienced. Because let me tell you: many experienced professionals struggle with the same.
One skill you need in a remote-first company is exactly that – self-leadership. All employees should be capable of acting autonomously. Another skill is to actively collaborate with others, being connected through processes, data, and empathy.
These two skills – being autonomous and connected – are a polarity. In my Integral Improvisational Coaching Approach, one perspective is exactly about that: design processes and polarities.
And many companies? They simply haven’t built these skills consistently across the organization. Not just for leaders – but for every single team member.
This is where companies might actually fail young employees – not because remote-first is flawed, but because the structure, culture, and competencies to make it work are missing.
— The original answers to this question are available here.
The risk is not knowing yourself.
Back in 2013, I had a three-year contract at a well-established bank on the table. The alternative? Working with individuals and teams, becoming self-employed.
More risk? No.
Because when I imagined building something of my own, something lit up in me. Everyone around me saw it too. The glow, the energy, just thinking about it.
In line with my Integral Improvisational Coaching Approach, we need to “explore our inner existence” to shape our professional path. What are your inner resources? What skills energize you? What needs must be met for you to thrive? This includes:
- Your values
- Your interests
- Your purpose
- Your personality
- Your competencies
It’s self-awareness and personal drive that help you find your inner truth and right fit – whether in a 9-5 job or in entrepreneurship.
But wait, it’s not that black and white!
More and more organizations are in transformation. They’re looking for people who think and act with an entrepreneurial mindset – regardless of their job title.
— The original answers to this question are available here.
They underestimate the inner work – both on themselves and on their team.
Founders are laser-focused on the product or service. But what they’re building is only half the story. Who is building it matters just as much.
In my Integral Improvisational Coaching Approach this includes:
- Explore your inner existence
- Go with your groove
Or in other words: know yourself and how you lead yourself; create a culture of collaboration, and develop a strong sense of purpose.
In some cases, by the time I’m invited to facilitate the first team workshop, tensions have been simmering for a while. It’s not too late – but it’s late.
Because building a business means building the people behind it – and that starts with inner work.
— The original answers to this question are available here.
Christine Paulus
ENGLISH | DEUTSCH
